i just google imaged poop.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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