WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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