I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
