her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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