The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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