Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
