Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
