Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All the doctor said was why
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
