You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize