Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
