I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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