ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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