Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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