Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
