He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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