You smell like stripper and shame
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
