I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't deserve a penis
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
