i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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