i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
