my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
