i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize