Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
