I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he was CRYING into my vagina
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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