Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
