Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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