So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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