I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
