Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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