well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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