My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize