these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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