I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
