I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
