wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize