How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
