An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize