pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize