I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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