A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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