New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
