So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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