we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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