She's JV to your varsity
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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