don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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