Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize