For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
