guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
