Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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