Having a random hookup so left but love u
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
