if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
