stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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