So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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