I hate all girls vehemently.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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