he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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