you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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